Find Me
by DarkYaoi
Summary: It's Near's b-day and Mello and Matt beat him up. Matt likes his games too much and didn't hear a word Mello said when Mello confessed... Mello is upset and heartbroken, will Matt stop and listen? Will Mello stop avoiding him? Can Matt even find him?
1. Chapter 1

I decided to deleat the chapter on Near's childhood. So if anyone wants to read it, pleasego to my profile. I will be posting it soon.

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Near woke up and stared at the ceiling. He sighed. Today was just a normal day. There was still going to be classes and there was still going to be the sky, the sun, and life would go on. I mean, what was so special about a birthday?

All the others at Wammy's House always gave him "birthday beatings". Weren't those supposed to be fun for the giver and receiver of the beatings? Near always ended up with a bloody nose, bruises, cuts, or something like that. Why did the others even bother to remember his birthday?

Near got up and headed for the bathroom. He took a shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and looked at himself in the mirror.

"_I don'__t look any older, do I?" _Near thought to himself. His hair was still a long tangle of curls and his eyes still held no emotion; same eyes, same lips, same hair, same cheeks, same face…

He grabbed the white pyjama like shirt and pants and put them on. He always wore white. It had never really occurred to him as to why he did.

He shuffled back to his room and sat on the floor beside the toys he had yet to put away. Near wanted to be the next L. He studied hard and always aced his classes. He solved cases that had previously been solved and then would check to see if he got it right. He was very determined. He was always trying to figure out new ways to get better and beat Mello, his greatest competition, at becoming the next L. He figured that if he became the next L, the world's greatest detective, he could stop more bad people from harming others, like his father had harmed his mother.

Near held back a sniff. He wasn't supposed to think of his mother. He was trying to forget that and had been doing quite a good job. Heck, no one even knew why he kept the nick-name "Near". No one in the Wammy House knew about his mother, except Roger and Near. Roger pitied him more than anything.

Near picked up the nearest toy. It was a simple robot; red and blue in colour, with arms and legs that moved up and down, and a head that moved side to side. It was one of the first toys he had gotten upon arriving at Wammy's House.

He smiled slightly, a rare thing for Near. He liked his toys. They were one of the few things he did like.

Although he had sat with his toys with the intension of playing with them, he didn't really feel like it. He was hungry but didn't want to go eat. It didn't look like it but Near was actually quite stubborn. He didn't like submitting to something as useless as hunger and food like Mello did with chocolate. It was disgusting. How can anyone eat that much chocolate. Near didn't even touch that stuff for fear of "catching" whatever Mello had that involved the vile stuff. It was quite unscientific of Near to think he could "catch" something like that. He didn't mind that it wasn't, as long as no one found out about his fear of eating chocolate… Yes Near was afraid of chocolate.

He checked the time. It was ten thirty-seven. He should probably go down and get something to eat but he didn't want to get "birthday beatings" quite yet. His stomach gurgled and he sighed. He couldn't wait. His stomach was annoying and he couldn't concentrate on anything when there is something annoying around him, like Mello, but he was at least used to Mello by now. Well Near thought he was anyway.

He got up off the floor and went to the door. He grabbed the door knob and mentally prepared himself for the ambush that was probably waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. He was about to open the door when he heard shuffling of feet outside his door. It was either just people walking around or they were waiting to ambush him there and not at the bottom of the stairs. Near thought for a moment. He could open the door and get beat up, maybe, or he could stay in his room with the door locked for the rest of the day…

This was a difficult decision. Should he go out or should he stay? What would be the logical thing to do? He was deep in thought. If he stayed in his room, tomorrow everyone would be mad and the beatings would be worse. Or maybe they would forget about it. That was not likely.

Near decided to open the door. He peered out first and looked down the hallway. He couldn't see anyone so he progressed to the stairs. They didn't look suspicious but then again, when has a flight of stairs even looked suspicious?

He stepped onto the first step trying not to make a sound. It was very quiet in the Wammy House. This alone was suspicious. Where was everyone? Usually almost everyone was awake around this time.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs he stopped. He looked out the window. So that was where everyone was. It was snowing. Snow covered the ground thickly, everything was white. It looked clean and fresh. Near almost wanted to join everyone in the snow… Almost.

He navigated his was to the kitchen where even the cook wasn't there. He helped himself to some plain old cheerio's; no sugar, no milk, nothing. The sound of the cereal crunching as he chewed was somewhat innerving him. It was too loud for the all silent Wammy House.

When he was finished he placed his bowl and spoon in the sink with the rest of the dishes and went to sit in his favourite spot on the windowsill. It was in the common room and it faced the yard where everyone was playing and laughing in the snow. The snow was calming and silent, clean, and white. It remind Near of himself other than the calming part. He usually annoyed people with his "no emotion" rather than calm them.

He watched as the other children ran about throwing snowballs at each other. Near never really understood how someone could be laughing while being chased and having snowballs thrown at them. It seem very odd. Other children were making snow angels and snowmen. Some sat on benches chatting or trying to catch the cold, wet, white fluff on their tongues. Near wished to join them even if it meant being pelted with snowballs and getting chilled and soaked to the bone.

It was then that he realised he was actually disappointed that he hadn't been given his "birthday beatings". Near wasn't sure why he was disappointed. He had always thought that it was a great thing to be alone and silent, no friends, no enemies, no beatings. But Near missed the socialisation. This was also odd to Near. How could he miss something like that?

He started twirling a piece of his hair around his finger, a habit that everyone was waiting for him to get rid of. He noticed Mello and Matt playing in the snow, laughing and just having fun. Mello chucked a snowball at Mat and it his him in the back of the head. Matt turned around and scooped up some snow and threw it at Mello, but Mello was already starting to run away from him.

Near watched them throwing snowballs at each other until they disappeared around the side of the building and Near could no longer see them. Near had actually been enjoying himself up until this point. He wondered if it would be a good idea to go out and get some fresh air. The snow did look very inviting.

Near didn't really own any thick outdoor clothes. He had never really gone outside during the winter for any longer than a few minutes. His skin was much too sensitive (that was probably due to the fact that he never went outside… well, rarely). He knew it probably would have been a good idea if he had gone out during the warmer seasons so his skin wouldn't be as pale as it was. Pale skin burns and is a lot more sensitive to the elements.

He headed back up to his room to grab his heaviest jacket (which was not heavy at all) and a pair of gloves. He slid his feet into his "outdoor shoes" and headed back downstairs. He looked at the door to the outside and wondered if this really was a good idea. He opened the door and the crisp cold air met his skin. Near shivered and stepped out onto the porch and down the stairs onto the snow.

The snow was deep, it reached just above Near's knees. He glanced around the yard and decided he would on the bench close the pond.

He sat and looked at the ice that covered the pond. The snow and the ice sparkled as the light hit it. It was… what? Near couldn't think of any word to describe it. It might be sparkling but no emotion was held by Near about it.

Near guessed that someone would call it pretty or even beautiful. How could it be though? Something cold and wet.

"Hey look!" A boy called out. "It's Near! Why is _he _outside?"

"Where is that fucker?!" Near recognized that voice. Mello.

"Over there Mel. He's sitting on the bench." Matt told Mello. Near didn't look towards them. He knew what would come next. It might be cold out but Mello wouldn't care. He would beat Near up either way.

Their food steps were muffled slightly by the fluffy snow as they walked towards Near.

"Near." Mello growled out when he stopped in front of him.

Near didn't speak, he didn't make a sound.

"Why don't you even say anything!" Mello asked furiously. His fist connected with the side of Near's head. Near fell off the bench and into the snow. He gave a cry when the cold wetness hit his face. Luckily Mello and Matt didn't hear the cry, they were too busy laughing.

Near didn't move, he couldn't. At least not with out pushing himself deeper into the snow. He lifted his head slightly only to have it forced back down by Mello.

"Happy birthday Near." Mello sneered at him and kept his foot on the back of Near head, keeping him from lifting his head.

Mat laughed started to bury Near in snow.

"_I knew it wasn'__t a good idea to come outside." _Near thought with his eyes squeezed shut.

A few minutes later Near was completely buried in snow and he couldn't move at all.

"Let's go Matt." Mello said, clearly exhausted.

"Are we really going to leave him buried in snow?" Matt asked nervously.

"He'll be fine, not that I care." They both went inside, leaving Near in the snow.

Near couldn't feel the cold anymore. This was not a good sign. He could breath though, his breath had melted an air pocket…

He tried to move his arms and legs. He couldn't. How much snow was he buried under?

He grew tired of trying to move. All he wanted to do was sleep. Yes sleep, sleep sounded good to him. Even though he knew, he might die if he did. Sleeping while freezing cold, buried in snow, was about the worst thing you could do.

He felt himself slipping away. It wasn't exactly sleep. It felt different, wrong. Near fell into emptiness.

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Please review! I love reviews! They make me happy and when I'm happy, I write more!


	2. Chapter 2

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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"Hey you two." Roger asked the two boys, one sitting on the floor playing a DS and the other on the couch gleefully eating chocolate.

"What." Mello snapped.

"Have you seen Near? I haven't seen him all day."

"Probably in his room." Matt replied not looking up from his game.

"I checked there already. Just tell me if you see him." Roger turned and left to ask some other children.

"Mello…" Matt said turning to face his chocolate eating friend.

"Relax Mat. He's probably studying or playing with his stupid toys somewhere." Mello said referring to Near.

Matt glanced out the window. It was slightly passed midday. They had buried Near over three hours ago.

Over the next few minutes, they both seemed nervous and kept glancing out the window.

"_What if we really killed him!?" _Matt thought worried.

"Ok! I'm going to see if he's still there." Matt said and got up, leaving his game still running. Matt never abandons his games.

"I'm coming to." Mello said and chucked his chocolate on the couch. They were both worrying. They had never worried before, but this was the first time Near had gone missing and even Roger didn't know where he was.

They didn't even bother to put their jackets on. They just raced out the door in their running shoes and towards the bench by the pond. The snow was still falling and their footprints from earlier that day were covered by snow and could not be seen.

They could see that there was still a mound of snow on the ground. They prayed it wasn't Near under there and that he was just hiding somewhere. The sun reflected off the snow and practically blinded Mello (Matt was fine because of his goggles).

Mello dropped down on his knees next to the mound of snow and started to dig. Matt followed suit. They dug through the cold snow, their fingers turning numb and blue.

"Why are we trying to find him?" Matt asked Mello. They were both tired of digging and sweating.

"Because we would never forgive ourselves if we were the ones to actually kill him, no matter how many times we've joked about it." Mello answered while still digging. He was beginning to wonder if Near was even there under the thick layer of snow.

"Mello. Here." Matt said pointing to the spot he had been digging. His fingers had brushed against something soft and cold.

Mello began helping Matt dig in that spot. Soon they uncovered a very cold, very wet Near. He was unconscious but he was still breathing, but very faintly.

"Help me you idiot!" Mello told Matt sharply while he tried to lift the small cold boy out of the hole they had dug.

Matt grabbed Nears legs and helped Mello lift him up. Mello ended up carrying Near back into the Wammy House.

"We're going to get in so much shit." Matt said when they got back inside the warm building. They kicked their shoes off.

"No we aren't. We can't be seen or we will. Let's get up to our room and warm him up then we can say we found him sleeping outside. As long as he isn't as cold and wet as he is now. We'll be fine. Come on." Mello checked the hallway to make sure there wasn't anyone there before heading up the stairs. Matt followed him.

They got inside the bedroom Matt and Mello shared. Mello laid Near on his bed.

"Matt go get some towels and if you can, get some of Nears' clothes from his room." Mello told Matt before taking off Near's sopping wet shirt. The small boy shivered.

Matt was off running in an instance.

Mello continued to take off Near's clothes, only leaving his underwear. Mello did not want to go there. He threw a blanket over the white haired boy. It was them that Near started shivering very violently.

Mello knew the blanket wasn't doing much good since Near didn't have the body heat to heat the blanket up and keep him warm. Mello wondered what he was supposed to do. Well actually, he did know what to do, he just didn't want to do it.

Near's shivers were uncontrollable. Mello could see his face was all screwed up into this weird expression of pain and every so often Near would jerk slightly. Shivering meant he was starting to warm up but it also meant he was feeling pain. He was still very cold.

Mello was getting scared. For some reason, watching Near in pain wasn't as enjoyable as he had previously thought.

He went over to Near and pulled the blanket away. He sat on the bed and pulled Near up into his lap and wrapped his arms around him. Mello flinched at the contact of Near's cold skin against the skin of his arms.

Near continued shivering and Mello continued holding him.

When Matt came back he just dropped the towels and clothes beside Mello and Near on the bed.

"Getting quite cozy I see." Matt teased Mello.

"Shut up, you ass hole." Mello replied but didn't let go of Near.

"You should probably get Near dressed." Matt said and picked up Near's shirt and shoved it in Mello's face, fully aware that Mello couldn't do anything about it unless he dropped Near.

Mello made a face but didn't say anything back. Matt helped Mello get Near into his clothes. Mello was about to throw the blanket over Near again when Matt stopped him.

"What the fuck do you think are you doing?" Mello asked when Matt had grabbed the blanket from him.

"Near still needs body heat Mels." Matt said seriously. "Look at him. He's still shivering like mad even though we dressed him in clean dry clothes. This is our fault you know, so we should fix it."

"Fuck you Matt." Mello spat at him.

"You can do that later Mello." Mello's eyes widened at that comment. "You should probably go back to what you were doing before I came in." Mello just looked at Matt.

"You fucker. That was not what I fucking meant you fucking ass hole!" Mello said and punched his best friend in the shoulder.

"Um. Ow. That hurt Mels." Matt said fake pouting.

"Shut up." Mello said and went back to Near. "And come here. I am not the only one who's fault it is. Your going to help Near just as much as I do."

"What?!" Matt exclaimed.

"Get you ass over here before I make you." Mello said threw gritted teeth.

Matt went over to Mello and sat on the other side of the unconscious Near. Mello and Matt both laid on either side of Near and close as they could comfortable get.

They could slowly start to feel Near's body warm up. His breathing was now normal and he was no longer shivering violently. By this time, the sun was down and dinner would be soon. Mello and Matt were bored out of their skulls.

Mello sat up. "Oh my fucking god. I haven't had any chocolate for over an hour! I need chocolate!" Mello ran out of the bedroom and within seconds he was back with about half a dozen chocolate bars.

"Uh huh. And I haven't been with my DS for over an hour. Your point?" Matt said yawning. Doing nothing might have bored him out of his skull but it also made him very, very tired. Matt closed his eyes and Mello sighed.

"You know we have to tell Roger where Near is." Matt said with his eyes still closed.

"I already did. 'told him that Near had fell in the snow and we found him while wandering outside and that we brought him here to warm up." Mello said noticeably proud of himself.

"Good." Matt said and fell asleep beside Near.

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Please review if you want me to continue!


	3. Chapter 3

This took a while to update. . Sorry. Well. Enjoy!

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Mello looked at the sleeping pair and groaned inwardly.

_"Why the fuck is Near still here when we could have taken him back to his fucking room?!" _Mello was about to shove Matt off the bed but they both just looked to cute together…

_"Holy mother fucking turds! Did I just call them "cute"? That is __**way **__too fucking creepy!" _Mello went and sat on the other bed once again and started nibbling on his chocolate. He continued to watch the odd pair sleeping. Matt still had his goggles on and Near was breathing slowly and had cuddled up to Matt. Near was not cold anymore. Mello was positive. _"I should probably wake them up… I could probably tease Matt about getting all lovey dovey with Near, but then he'd probably start yelling at me and whck me in the head… Wait, that's what I would do. He would probably just blush, yell a bit and go back to his gaming." _Mello sighed. He chucked the chocolate wrapper at Matt and it hit him in the ear.

Matt reached up and rubbed his ear but didn't get up or do much else. Mello chucked the pillow at him and Matt sat strait up.

"Mfgh!?" He glared at the wall and then at the pillow. "Mello. I was sleeping!"

"More like getting close to Near…" He chucked the pillow back at Mello and laughed.

"What should we do with him?" Matt asked.

"Chuck him back into the hole he came from." Mello said and laughed nervously.

"That's not funny Mello. We almost killed him." Matt said and crossed his arms.

" _Almost _being the key word here." Matt gave him an evil look. "Alright, fine. He can stay until he wakes up, but then he has to go away."

"Thanks, Mello, yellow, jello, happy fellow…"

"Shut up Matt."

"No! Never!" Matt said and started singing at the top off his lungs.

"Mello! Yellow! Jello! Happy fellow! Mello! Yellow! Jello! Happy fell…" Mello promptly smacked his across the head.

"Ng." Mello and Matt both looked towards where the sound came from. Near was stirring.

"Mello?" Matt asked. Mello just stood there waiting for Near to wake up. Would he go and tell Roger on them? If he did, they would be in huge shit.

"Mello, Matt?" Near asked and sat up and blinked a few times.

"Yo." Matt said.

"Fuck." Mello said.

"I should probably leave." Near said emotionlessly and got up.

"You'd better not fucking tell and fucking one." Mello warned.

"I won't. I'm not seriously injured, now am I." He said smugly. Mello swore he saw a faint smile touch Near's lips before he left, closing the door behind him.

"Ok. That went unexpectedly well." Matt finally said after a few moments.

"I guess…" Mello said and bit a large piece of chocolate bar and chewed happily. He then flopped onto his back on the bed beside Matt.

"You have such pretty hair Mello." Matt said and twisted a piece around his finger.

Mello bolted up and gave him a look of disbelief. "What the fuck! Who the fuck are you and what did you fucking do with my best friend." He demanded.

Matt chuckled and wandered over to the dresser. He opened the drawer and dug through his clothes and pulled out his DS. He sat back next to Mello and proceeded to play his game as if nothing had happened.

It was really late. Near hadn't even slept for more than an two hours. It wasn't even past midnight for fucks sake! Mello was extremely bored and let his mind drift as he leaned against the wall and sat beside his gamer for a friend. He closed his eyes and thought about the day.

_"Fuck you Matt." Mello spat at him._

_"You can do that later Mello." Mello's eyes widened at that comment. "You should probably go back to what you were doing before I came in." Mello just looked at Matt._

_"You fucker. That was not what I fucking meant you fucking ass hole!" Mello said and punched his best friend in the shoulder._

_"Um. Ow. That hurt Mels." Matt said fake pouting._

Where did that come from?! Mello squeezed his eyes shut and tried to think of an explanation for Matt's words.

"_He was probably just not thinking… Right? Or joking… That had to be it. I always over think stuff and let emotions run my life, unlike Near. It meant nothing. It's just wishful thinking that… No. Stop. That's not right. I can't…" _Mello kept his eyes shut and rubbed his temples. He was getting a head ache from all this drama. Yes, Mello was in love with his best friend. No matter how Mello looked at it, or tried to deny it, he was undeniably in love with him. Near knew it and Mello knew it. Near was just a know it all freak. Matt was completely oblivious to this and Mello had threatened to kill Near if he said a word about it to anyone.

Near might be cute when he was sleeping, but in Mello's eyes, Matt was cute 24/7. Even when he was snoring… Mello knew it wasn't right to love his best friend and that if he admitted it, it would completely ruin his friendship. He would hate that.

Matt was fixated on his game and completely ignoring Mello. He didn't even notice that his friend had stopped eating his chocolate and chucked it across the room and into the garbage can. Mello never wasted chocolate.

"Night." Mello said and went to change and wash up in the washroom. He came back and climbed into the bed that Matt wasn't sitting on. It wasn't until Mello was in the covers and half asleep that he realised that it wasn't his bed, it was Matt. He inhaled deeply.

_"The sheets smell like him. Mmmm. Matt." _Mello wasn't exactly awake enough to stop these thoughts. He let them take over before he fell asleep. _"Matt sleeps in this bed… and now I am. If only you would come join me. Matt's bed. Matt's bed. Matt's bed."_

Matt looked over at his friend sleeping in his bed. He chuckled. Mello must have been really tired to have fallen asleep in _his _bed. Mello hated it when anyone touched his stuff and now Mello was stealing his bed. Typical Mello.

_"Guess I'm going to have to sleep in Mello's bed. Hope he doesn't get upset in the morning. I could always wake him up…" _Matt sighed. _"But he looks so cute when he's sleeping. I can't just wake up something that cute." _Matt had been disgusted with his self in the begging when he found out that he had feelings for Mello. He thought it was wrong and Mello would leave if he told him about these feelings. He didn't want to lose Mello as a friend, not at all.

Matt shook his head and proceeded to the bathroom. He desperately needed a shower after digging Near out of the snow and sweating. He figured Mello did too but it seemed that Mello hadn't taken one. He would have to pester Mello about that tomorrow.

Mello was a deep sleeper so Matt decided to jack off in the shower. He needed the release after thinking off Mello taking a shower.

He stripped himself off his clothes and got into the shower. He washed his hair before grabbing his dick. He started out slow but soon sped up as he imagined that it was Mello giving his this pleasure. He let a few silent moans escape but he repressed the others. He didn't want anyone to hear him. Especially not Mello.

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O.o Well. Obviously I had to put Mello and Matt together. Should I include Near? I need your thoughts on this! Please review! I need to know what you think. Thanks for reading! Go to my profile to vote for your favorite yoai pairing! Please!


	4. Chapter 4

Haven't updated in soooooo long. Here's the next chapter! Hope you like it!

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Mello awoke around three in the morning and looked over at Matt who was sleeping in his bed. He would have to do something about that.

He yawned, stretched and walked over to his own bed. He grabbed the blankets and pulled them back revealing a shirtless Matt. Mello felt his face grow hot with a blush. He shook his head and rolled him off the bed.

"Ahh!" Matt said when he hit the floor. "What the hell happened?" He looked around wildly and then up at Mello who's face was still slightly pink. Matt thought it was just in anger.

"My bed." Mello glared down at his best friend. Matt picked himself off the floor and moved lazily towards his own bed that Mello had messed up.

"Mmm." Matt got comfortable in his own bed and breathed in the thick scent of chocolate and strawberries. Why Mello used strawberry scented shampoo _and _conditioner, escaped Matt.

Mello sighed and climbed into his own bed. It smelled of cigarettes and mint toothpaste, like Matt.

Mello grabbed a book from the bedside table and switched on the lamp. Matt mumbled something and pulled the blankets over his head.

The book was something L had given him for Christmas last year. He'd read it over a dozen times. It was on many previous cases great detectives had solved. Mello guessed it was L who had solved many of them under an alias.

He glanced at Matt, well the lump of blankets, throughout the next two hours. His breathing was unsteady and uneven. He probably wasn't asleep and was most likely playing some video game.

"_I am so bored. There's no chocolate left and I've read this book too many times. I could always shove Matt out of bed again… He wouldn't be very happy about that. Matt isn't a morning person… Gah! What should I do?" _Mello looked up at the ceiling and laid the open book on his stomach. He concentrated on Matt's breathing. It had finally slowed and the top of Matt's head was sticking out from beneath the covers.

Mello touched the top of his head. His hair was always soft and light. No matter what it looked like, Mello's hair was actually relatively thick. Many people make fun of Mello's obsession with his hair. It never ends well. Mello almost always got the best of them. The worst was when Mello took scissors to a girl's hair when he was eight. He got detention for a few months and was forbidden from eating chocolate during that time. Matt would sneak chocolate for him. Matt was a good friends.

What should he do today? They couldn't bug Near or else he might tell Roger about the snow incident. That would not be good. It had never really crossed Mello's mind that Matt might actually and literally be in love with him. Sure he'd had his fantasies but he couldn't truly believe it. Matt just wasn't gay. It couldn't be possible. Mello, sure it could be possible. He obsesses over his hair doesn't he?

Mello closed his eyes and imagined what it might be like to have Matt love him back. What would Matt be like then? Would he be different of the same as before? How would he treat Mello then? Would their friendship be ruined?

Mello had imagined many scenario's of what might happen if he confessed to Matt. Many of them involved steamy sex but others involved Matt never speaking to Mello again. Wouldn't he find it just a bit creepy if the person he shared a room with and was his best friend, were in love with him?

Mello mentally shuddered. He didn't want Matt hating him.

_"Fuck you Matt." Mello spat at him._

_"You can do that later Mello." Mello's eyes widened at that comment. "You should probably go back to what you were doing before I came in." Mello just looked at Matt._

_"You fucker. That was not what I fucking meant you fucking ass hole!" Mello said and punched his best friend in the shoulder._

_"Um. Ow. That hurt Mels." Matt said fake pouting._

Why did Matt tease him so? It wasn't as if Mello hadn't thought about fucking Matt, he just thought (though he'd never admit) that it would be pretty damn sexy to be fucked by Matt, to be dominated by Matt (not that Mello is weak or anything)…

The alarm on the clock would go off at 6am. Half an hour to go. Then they would have to get ready and go to their classes at 8am.

Classes sucked. Near was always number one and Mello was stuck being second. Matt was less interested in being number one but he was third. Contrary to the popular belief going around, Matt was a lot smarter than most. Mello always wondered how he was so smart and yet played video games for two thirds of the day.

Mello snuggled back down into his blankets and closed his eyes. He was quite tired even though he had woken up early. He did fall asleep again.

!

**Beep! Beep! Beep! **

The alrm was going off and Matt opened one eye. He glanced at Mello who was peacefully sleeping with the blankets kicked off as usual. He got up and turned the alarm off. Mello looked so innocent when he was sleeping. It was almost a shame to wake him, almost. Matt would let him sleep. It was too good a chance to pass up, watching Mello sleep…

!

"Mello!" Matt rolled Mello onto the floor.

"Batard!" Mello grabed Matt's ankle and Matt fell to the ground as well.

There was an awkward silence and then they both burst out laughing.

"Come on Mello. We have to get ready for class." Mello looked at the clock. It was 7am. Matt must've gotten up and turned the alarm off to let Mello sleep.

Matt was already showered and dressed and by the time Mello was ready, they would have to skip breakfast in order to get to class on time.

!

"Today's classes were really boring. Don't you agree Matt?" Mello asked his gaming friend.

"It was all revision from last week's lesson. We aren't stupid. We already know and understand everything." Matt nodded and rolled his eyes as a few girls started giggling and blushing when they passed.

"Let's go outside again. There's still snow on the ground. We can build a fort or something. No attacking Near this time." Mello smirked evily.

"Right. No forts and we're attacking Mello." Matt was busy playing his DS.

"No! You fucking idiot!" Mello grabbed the DS and switched it off. "No attacking Near. We are building a fort!"

"Right." Matt smiled and grabbed his DS back and shoved it in his pocket.

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Please review! I'll luv u forever! Makes me write faster!


	5. Chapter 5

Hope you like this chapter!

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_Whack! _

"What was that for!" Matt glared at Mello as wet snow dripped down the side of his head.

"Get off your fucking DS!" Mello chucked another snowball at his now red in the face friend when the snow hit his DS.

"If this breaks, you're buying me another one!" Matt waved his DS in the air before placing it on the bench and gathering snow into a ball. He chased Mello around the side of the building and chucked the snow. It missed… by a lot.

"Ha ha ha… MFG!" Mello fell face first into a pile of snow having tripped over a rock buried under the snow.

"Who's laughing now." Matt said and looked down at his blond friend. Mello rolled over and glared at him.

Matt sighed and extended his arm offering to hep Mello up. Mello took hold of his forearm and pulled him down into the snow beside him.

Mello smiled and turned his head towards a stunned Matt. They looked at each other for a moment and bust out laughing. Moments like this were the best. Moments when neither of them were worried about the pressure of becoming L or anything but that moment. Forget the outside world. Forget all their problems. Even Mello forgot that he should be keeping up his usual "evil" aura. Matt forgot about video games.

It started to snow again and flakes his their faces and stayed their like glitter until they melted and ran down their face. Mello closed his eyes and relaxed into the snow. It wasn't often that Matt saw him this relaxed while awake so he took those few precious seconds to look at his face. He looked so innocent and younger than usual without that hard scowl on his face or forced smile while around others. Only when Matt was around did Mello let his guard down. Matt felt the sudden urge to kiss this peaceful angel. He even started to learn forward before catching himself and laying back in the snow. He glared at the sky.

"_It's not fair. If Mello were a chic I'd understand but he's my best friend. Why do I want him? It's not fair. I want to tell him but he's the kind of guy to shoot a persons head off if he thinks they'll get in the way. He has already voiced his thought on bisexuality. He's beat the crap out of one guy before because he claimed to have a crush on me…" _Matt sighed and stood up.

"We should go inside Mello. If you want to sleep, don't sleep in the snow. You'll catch a cold."

"I don't want to move. I'm comfortable." Mello said but got up anyways. Matt rolled his eyes and started to walk back towards the front of the building.

"Oof." Matt turned around to find that Mello had fallen face first into the snow again by tripping over the same rock.

Mello sat up and glared at the rock hoping it would melt or disintegrate or disappear.

"I'm going to kill that rock." Mello said.

"You can't kill a rock smart one." Matt held out his hand once again for Mello. "Don't pull me down again."

"Only if you ask." Mello said suggestively and grabbed hold of his hand. Matt was to say the least, surprised when Mello said that. He pulled Mello to his feet and tried to pull his hand away but Mello wouldn't let go.

Matt looked at their entwined hands and then at Mello.

"If I fall, you fall." Was Mello's only answer. If only Matt wasn't so thick.

They ended up walking back holding hand and earning a few odd glances from some girls and the boy who had a "crush" on Matt. The boy's eyes widened and he ran off towards his friends and said something. They all turned their head to look at them and started snickering.

"Um. Mello, we're getting weird looks. Are you okay with that?" Matt would have blushed had his face not already been flushed from the cold.

"If they tease you about it, I'm pounding their face in." Mello looked at them and stuck his tongue out at them. Childish yes, but he didn't want that boy trying to steal Matt from him. They gaped for a moment and huddled together to gossip like old women.

They went inside and slipped out of their wet jackets and boots. Mello went so far as to take off his shirt earning a lecture from Matt on catching a cold.

"Just shut up Matt." Mello mumbled when they entered their bedroom and Matt continued his rant which had turned to health in general.

"Health is important!" Matt sat on the floor and reached into his pocket. His eyes closed and he let out an angry sigh.

"What?" Mello asked.

"My DS is still outside." Matt did not look impressed.

"Then go get it." Mello grumbled and pulled a bar of chocolate out of his bedside table drawer.

"No. You go get it. You made me forget it."

"How did I make you forget it?" Mello asked angered.

"_By being so fuckable and cute in the snow." _Matt scowled.

"What about my health that you were ranting about? I shouldn't go outside. I'll catch a cold!" Mello smirked slightly and Matt chucked the closest thing at Mello which happened to be an eraser. Very scary…

"You owe me if it's broken." Matt not-so-gracefully got up and stormed out of the room after his DS.

"Pfft. It's just a game… Look at me more than that game. It gets more attention than me." Had Mello been on drugs or something he would have cried but being the "evil" one he was he wasn't going to cry over being jealous of a game. He contented himself with finishing off his chocolate bar and starting another. He was resting on the floor with his back against the side of his bed. He leaned his head back so that it lay on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

He looked at how it wasn't exactly white. It had a yellowish tint to it and a few brown spots of chocolate directly above him that had yet to be cleaned from Mello's "tantrum" (Mello refused to call it that) last year when Near beat him on an exam once again.

He closed his eyes and thought about earlier. Matt hadn't pulled away when he held his hand. Mello wanted to hop but it was probably because Matt was scared of Mello's wrath and they were best friends.

"_When's Matt getting back?" _Mello tilted his head and looked at his clock. _"How long does it take to get a video game?" _It had only been three minutes.

Mello sat there for another five minutes before getting up and opening Matt's drawer and scooped out at least two dozen DS games and seven computer games.

Matt opened the door and walked in just as Mello was shoving them in the garbage can, trying to make them fit.

"Mello!" Matt dropped his wet DS and pushed Mello to the side and started pulling out his games. "What the hell are you doing? I _need _those games!" Matt glared at him and placed his games back in the drawer.

"Why do you need them Matt? They're inanimate objects that turn your mind to mush!" Mello rolled his eyes. He got what he wanted for the moment. Matt's attention.

"Life is so boring here. There is nothing to do! Why do you eat chocolate? Because you like it, I play games because I like it and it makes life less boring." Matt shoved the drawer closed roughly.

"Life is boring? Maybe it wouldn't be boring if you paid attention to your surroundings instead of watching your video game all day long!"

"And what would I see if I paid attention Mello?" Matt looked at Mello through his goggles. "If you're a genius, then tell me what's so exciting that I'd discover!"

"You are so fucking blind! You know that!" Mello dropped his chocolate on the floor and moved quickly towards Matt. Matt thought he was going to get hit so he flinched back.

Mello was standing right in front of him. Just inches away. Matt blinked and wondered what Mello was going to do if not hit him.

Mello looked like he was going to say something but suddenly changed his mind and turned around. Matt thought he saw a tint of red on Mello's cheeks but he must have been mistaken. Mello never turns red unless he's angry but he didn't seem angry now. He was almost… embarrassed.

Mello picked up his chocolate and unwrapped the rest of it, took a bite, sat on the floor facing away from Matt and picked up the book he had been reading before with the other hand.

Matt sighed and opened his DS. He flipped the switch hoping it would work. It did and it seemed unharmed, just a bit damp. Mello could hear the sound of the DS and felt worse.

"_What the fuck I thinking. I can't ever risk it. Never. Matt might think he has a boring life but if he just fucking looked around, I think maybe he might find that it's anything but boring. If he knew what I felt he could avoid me and his life wouldn't be boring or he could except it but it would never be the same. I can't fucking risk our friendship ever…" _Mello bit his lip and turned the page of his book. He wasn't really reading it. He wondered if he had actually blushed or if his face just felt hot like when he got angry. It hadn't felt like it does when he's angry. It didn't feel hot anymore. He had cooled down enough. _"I should tell him. It's not like he'll hate me or anything. I should tell him… He can't avoid me forever. We share the same room. If I have to I can beat the crap out of him or if he has a bad reaction I can just laugh it off…" _Mello smiled and stood up with new found courage.

"Matt." Mello stood behind Matt and poked him in the head.

Matt paused the game. "What?" He asked irritated.

"Don't act so fucking grumpy." Mello smiled slightly. "I have to tell you something."

"Can it wait till I finish this level?" Matt un-paused the game and continued playing.

"Matt!" Mello pulled the game away and shut it off and tossed it onto the bed.

"Hey! I didn't get to save!" Matt stood up and Mello suddenly felt small (which doesn't happen often). Matt was indeed two inches taller than him.

"Um." Mello looked to the side and leaned slightly back but he had decided to tell him, so he would. "Matt. I… I…"

"Come on Mello. I want to get back to my game."

"I am… sort of… er. How do I put this." Mello looked down at the ground and Matt sighed irritated. "Fuck…um…"

"Mello." Matt threatened. He wanted to get abck to his game and wasn't waiting much longer.

"I am in… lo…gay." Mello couldn't say it. If he said he was in love with Matt it would be even worse. Saying he was gay was much easier.

"Great. Now I'm going to get back to my game." Matt moved around a stunned Mello and picked up his game and sat on his bed.

Mello felt his chest seize up. Matt wasn't even paying any attention to him when he said that. The only thing he cared about was his games. Stupid.

Mello could feel his eyes prick. He couldn't hold back the small amount of liquid that he quickly wiped away from his eyes. He couldn't stand to be in the same room as Matt at the moment.

He left towards the library, leaving his chocolate.

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Aww. Mello isn't feeling the love T_T Please review so Matt can realise he's being an idiot and Mello will stop becoming an emo chocoholic!


	6. Chapter 6

okay... Mello is outside... Will Matt notice? Him and his games... jeez!

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"_Damn bastard never listens. It's always his games." _Mello marched through the snow and sat on the same bench Matt had left his DS on before. He had resolved to sit there until Matt came to find him. All night if he had to. It would be Matt's fault if he died out there… because he's a bastard like that. _"He's probably going to sit inside and play his game until he goes to eat or take a shower and by then it'll be late and after that, he'll most likely realise I'm gone and look for me." _Mello was positive Matt would look for his sooner or later that day.

Mello looked around at the other orphans playing the snow. The flakes gently landed on hair and stuck like a light warm blanket. Mello had nothing other than what he'd walked out of their room with, no jacket or hat or gloves.

He refused to shiver but his body had other plans and goosebumps formed and he rubbed his hands together. He glared at the flakes on his pants. They sparkled somewhat and Mello brushed them off.

"_I won't tell Matt again. If he didn't hear me the first time, he won't hear me say it again. It was his fault. Maybe I should hide his goggles…" _Matt loved his goggles that L had given his for Christmas years ago. "_but then I would be able to see his eyes. Damn." _Matt could get anything (almost… not Mello's chocolate although he had tried…) from Mello just by looking at him with those beautiful green orbs.

Mello was not moving from his spot. No matter how cold he got. Even as the other children started going inside as it started to get even darker, Mello still hadn't moved.

"Alright! Everyone inside!" Roger finally yelled as the lamps outdoors turned on. "That include you too Claude!"

"Aw man." A small boy with messy blond hair stood up and stomped after the rest. His hiding spot hadn't been the best either. He had been hiding by laying in the snow… With an orange jacket on. Very sneaky…

Mello wasn't seen, luckily. The bench was beside a bush and Mello ducked slightly so Roger couldn't see him.

"Stupid Roger. Doesn't even think about if we're hiding." Mello smirked. Roger always locks all doors at night. So if you're locked outside you're practically screwed. Then again there was a shed filled with numerous toys for everyone where you could go to get out of the wind and snow. You might be cold but you wouldn't freeze… most likely. _Most _children weren't stupid enough to stay outside anyways.

The night had set in and it was dark except for the light coming from the few lampposts scattered around. Mello wondered if Matt could even look for him. He might just think nothing of his absence.

Matt lay on his back on his bed playing his DS. He defeated the last boss and shut the game off and glanced at the time. 11 o'clock.

"It's already this late? Wow." He put his game away and stretched. Something was missing. His eyebrows furrowed and he though, hard. He started to pace and he stepped on something that crunched. He looked down. Mello's chocolate.

"_Mello never leaves his chocolate. Where is he anyways? Something must have happened… Hmm. What happened before? I was playing my game, Mello said something, he disappeared… I don't see anything abnormal." _Matt scratched the back of his head and was about to turn his laptop on but his gut was telling him to look for Mello.

He sighed and glared at the laptop. He really wanted to start it up…

20 minutes later…

"_Where the hell is he?" _Matt walked silently down the hallway. _"Unless he's in someone else's room, which I doubt, then he's hiding on purpose. If he's outside, I'm going to kill him… although he'd probably be a popsicle by now then." _The thought of Mello freezing outside made Matt go faster towards the front entrance. If Mello was hurt what would he do? Usually it was Matt getting himself hurt (and usually Mello inflicting the injury!).

Once outside he shivered. It was absolutely freezing. Why would Mello even want to be out there? He's not that much of an idiot!

"Brrr!" Matt hugged himself and tried to shake the bad feeling in his gut away.

"_If Mello really is out here, he's an idiot. He left his jacket inside…" _Matt could just imagine Mello frozen in the snow not unlike Near had been. It literally scared the hell out of Matt.

"Mello!" Matt yelled but obviously got no answer back except the whistle from the wind through the trees.

He continued to walk around the snow covered yard. He noticed something over by a bush that wasn't just the bench. He headed over in a hurry.

"_Shit! Is that Mello or some sled someone left out?" _Matt got closer and it was indeed human. If it was Mello, he had no idea. There was snow covering them lightly and their eyes were closed.

They seemed to have heard him approaching.

"What!" Mello snapped glaring at Matt but he also had a smirk on his face.

"_He was planning this all along! He wanted me to search for him! Mello, I swear to god…" _

"Nothing much. I just came back because I couldn't find my game for the DS. I thought maybe I had left it here." Matt crouched down and started brushing the snow off of the bench, searching for a nonexistent game.

Mello felt his heart wrench. _"He's only here for a game… Why did I ever think he'd want to find me…" _He sneezed and Matt looked up quickly.

"Cold?" Matt asked concerned.

"What do you care!" Mello got up and ignoring the pain that seared through his body from the cold and sitting there for so long (most likely frost bite), he ran back inside, slammed the door and locked it. The sudden heat made his skin itch and burn and he suddenly started feeling sick. "_oh no." _

Matt banged on the door.

"Let me in Mello!" Matt peered in the little window on the door and saw Mello on the floor holding his knees to his chest and face painted with a slight grimace. _"The cold must have really gotten to him…"_

Mello stood up on shaky legs and unlocked the door. "_I really feel like shit. At least if I let Matt in, I won't have to live with him dying outside because of my stupidity…" _

"Mello. Listen to me. I'm going to take you upstairs okay?" Matt shed his own winter cloths and picked up the now soaking wet Mello bridal style. "Jeez Mello, you're frozen!" Matt shivered at the coldness of Mello's skin.

"Shut up." Mello closed his eyes.

"No sleeping!" Matt jerked and Mello opened his eyes.

Matt opened the door to their room with much difficulty and put Mello on the floor. Mello grumbled the whole time.

Matt retrieved some towels and went back to a dozing Mello.

"I said no sleeping!" Matt dropped the towels and knelt beside Mello.

"Mfg." Mello turned his head away from Matt and looked at the wall.

"I know you're mad at me but bear with it." Matt blushed slightly. He would need to undress Mello.

"_I have to be calm. Under normal circumstances I'd gladly… no. no thoughts like that!" _Matt managed to get him shirt off without any problems but next came the pants and he also needed to get Mello warm… With Near it had been body heat. _"I'm sure Mello would be pretty pissed if I got hard during this… laying next to a nude Mello."_

He shook his head and scolded himself. Mello would surely kill him if he knew.

He pulled the pants down Mello's almost feminine hips and threw them with the shirt. Mello was only in his boxers now.

"I'm going to give you a shower okay Mello?"

"Whatever." Mello hoped Matt didn't notice the blush that had formed. Matt had been stripping him after all and Matt had just said he was going to give him a shower.

"You're lucky you don't have frost bite." Matt said and picked him up again.

"I guess." Mello wouldn't look Matt in the eyes.

Matt put Mello down against the wall and turned on the shower. The water was much colder than any shower Mello would willingly take but Matt didn't want to send his body into shock.

Matt sat Mello on the floor of the shower and watched the water go through his hair and down his shoulders. He couldn't tear his eyes away. Mello was mesmerizing. His head was leaned back and eyes closed. Matt had to use all of his self control not to get in the shower with him.

"Matt." Mello opened his eyes and looked at him. Matt stared and at first he thought it was just the water from the shower but he realised it wasn't just water, it was tears. Mello was crying. Matt really had no idea what to do. Mello had never cried in front of anyone since Matt knew him.

"Wha… what's wrong, eh, Mello?" Matt asked nervously.

"You bastard!" Mello chucked the soap bar at him and stood up on shaky legs. He grabbed hold of Matt's shirt for support. "You never listen!" Mello yelled in his face.

"I'm listening now!" Matt defended.

"You weren't earlier when it counted!" Mello rested his forehead against Matt's shoulder, getting it wet.

"Tell me what you said then! I'm listening." Matt said the last part in a whisper.

"I can't." Mello sobbed.

"Why not? We're best friends. You can tell me anything except…" Mello looked at him dreading what Matt would never want to hear. "that you're a woman. Then again, if you tell me you're a woman I won't be surprised."

"Bastard!" Mello punched him so weakly in the arm in didn't hurt in the least.

"I'm saying it as a compliment Mello. You're really pretty… oops." Matt looked away and blushed and Mello just stared at him… and blushed.

Mello mumbled something incomprehensible and Matt looked at him funny.

"What?" Matt lifted Mello's face. "I can't hear you and it's not because I'm not listening."

"I said I'm gay." Mello said in a small voice.

"Is that it? Wow Mello, if you thought I'd get upset over that, then you don't know me." Matt smiled.

"Well, that's not all." Mello looked down again and the water from the shower seemed to be the only sound during that few second pause. "but it's too embarrassing to say." Mello looked utterly defeated.

"Why is it too embarrassing? I know practically everything about you! You're my best friend and partner in crime! Anything you tell me isn't going to affect that! You told me you're gay and I don't care that I share a room with you and that we've slept in the same bed before. I really couldn't care less!" Matt suddenly wrapped his arms around Mello and hugged him tightly. Mello was glad that Matt was so accepting but he was also shocked that Matt was hugging him… where as Matt was shocked that Mello had been crying and was allowing himself to be hugged! "Do you have a secret twin that's overly nice and is a cross dresser?" Matt asked with a laugh. "Because that would most definitely scare me!"

"No. I don't have some creepy twin." Mello hugged Matt back. "I'm glad you're my… friend." It stung Matt that he was just a friend to Mello. He wanted to be so much more but if he told Mello that he was in love with him, it would just ruin the friendship and the moment. Mello trusted him and he didn't want to break that. "Would you get mad if I was in love with a guy that you know well?" Mello asked slowly.

"No. Who is it?" Matt felt his anger rise. He was so going to kill this guy!

"I can't tell." Mello sighed and pulled away from Matt. "Thank you for helping me. I'm feeling warmer now… umm. Sorry for getting you all wet."

"That's okay." Matt shrugged and pulled his shirt off and started to pull down his pant, not even noticing Mello who rushed out with a nosebleed…

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Please reveiw what you think of this chapter, the whole in general or what you think should happen! Review please! Hope you've been enjoying!


	7. Chapter 7

Here's the next chapter! I know... I don't update fast enough. I'm sorry! Please enjoy!

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"_Mello's in love with someone! No! That can't happen!"_ Matt knew that he couldn't keep Mello cooped up if he wanted to go and chase after someone but he couldn't help but feel possessive. _"If only I could tell him… Mello is mine! If I can figure out who it is he likes then I can beat the crap out of him… I wonder if that's possible for me… That guy is probably really ripped and scary. Mello seems like the kind of person who likes that kind of thing." _Mello was imagining one of those wrestlers who could easily snap his neck if they wanted. He had no chance against **that.** _"Damn it Mello. I want you so bad but you love someone else and it isn't even a girl!" _Matt thought for a moment and pulled new cloths on.

He had no idea why Mello had disappeared from the bathroom. If he had stayed for only a moment more, he might have told him that he was gay as well…

"_Near's probably the only one smart eno…" _Matt stood there slightly shocked at himself. _"Ask Near for help? I've gone mad!" _He shook his head and headed back out into their room.

The more he thought about it, the more it started to make sense. Asking Near for help might be a good idea.

He sat at the desk and turned on his laptop. He wanted… no needed to get him mind off of all this. His games would help.

He pressed buttons rapidly and killed numerous enemies. They continued to swarm his character in hopes of defeating him. Online games were so boring… but better than computer players.

He played the rest of the night away and well into the morning.

"_What the hell!" _His computer shut off and he slammed his fists into the desk. It was only after his small temper tantrum of pulling his hair and letting a string of colourful curses fly from his mouth, that he realised that the lights were out. He looked at the clock and glared. Stupid digital clock.

"Shit!" He got up and pulled open the blinds that were usually closed all day. Snow was whirling outside and he couldn't see anything. _"Good thing Mello isn't out there…" _His heart skipped a beat. "_If I hadn't gone out to get him…" _He started breathing hard. Just the thought of Mello frozen out in the snow… He would most likely die because no one would even notice but him. Matt wouldn't be able to go outside during a storm… _"don't think like that!" _He mentally scolded himself. _"Mello isn't outside. He is right…" _He thought for a moment and scrunched his eyebrows together in thought. _"Where is Mello? I better go find him… Just for my peace of mind. Oh god, now I'm worrying about him and getting paranoid." _

He collected himself, grabbed his watch, checked the time (9 in the morning), and marched out the door. There were numerous children chatting very loud about the power outage. The muttering continued as he entered the front room.

"Have you seen Mello?" Matt asked a girl with long red hair and flawless skin.

"Why would I? He's always with you." She flipped her hair and walked away followed by her three minions.

He snorted at her snooty attitude and marched off to the library. If Mello wasn't there then maybe Near was and he might be able (if he could muster up the nerve) to ask him if he knew who Mello was in love with.

He glanced around the large room and Mello was no where in sight… and neither was Near.

"There goes that idea." He muttered to himself. He decided to find a book to read (Oh my gosh, I know! It's a miracle!) since his computer wasn't working and he'd beat all of his games on DS.

"_Maybe if I read some romance book that all the girls read then I'll be able to understand… my feelings better." _Matt's idea wasn't the smartest but he had nothing else to go by.

He picked up some random book that he'd seen almost all the girls reading… Twilight. It didn't look like a very interesting book. It involved vampires… that sparkle. He pulled a face like he was eating a lemon. Vampires shouldn't sparkle.

He sat in one of the over stuffed burgundy arm chairs by the large windows and cracked open the book.

He read, and read, and read until the small amount of light from the windows dwindled away and he finally finished the book. He closed it and stretched his now stiff back and neck. He checked his watch. It was only three and it was already too dark to read comfortably.

The book had only made him more confused. Why be with someone dead? Those emotions in the book barely applied to him. He wasn't a clumsy girl. He wasn't overly emotional. The only thing he had in common with the girl was the fact that he wanted someone he couldn't have. Mello was almost like a vampire; beautiful, strong, and terrifying.

He wasn't really in the mood for anything but he hadn't eaten in awhile… all day actually.

Mello wandered the halls somewhat unsure why he had wanted to tell Matt that he loved him. _"It's not like Matt loves me back or anything but in that moment… it seemed like he might, maybe love me back." _Mello glared at a few boys and they cowered. It was still pitch black and Mello's hair was still dripping wet but he was in clean dry clothes. Wandering the halls during midnight was not exactly encouraged by Roger. Hopefully he wasn't caught because he would have to explain… He'd be sent back to his room and have to face Matt again.

"_What can I do till morning…" _Mello thought to himself and continued towards the back rooms where most of the storage was. He'd discovered it only a few weeks ago. The attic was a really nice place to go and escape everything. It was filled with bed frames and old mattresses and dressers. There were also boxes filled with old books and toys that no one ever used. Mello had a stash of chocolate up there as well now.

It wasn't very clean and Mello had a few blankets strewn across the floor to sit on.

He continued walking till he found the locked door. It was easy enough to open though when you had Mello's intelligence. The stairs were rickety and a few times he wondered if they were even safe to walk on.

He tripped on the top step and landed on a cushion sending dust into the air. He coughed and waved his hand to help clear it away.

He'd considered taking Matt up there but it was the only place he could hide from absolutely everyone. Sometimes it was just easier to run from everyone.

"_I can't just sit there and eat the night away. I can't sleep up there, it's probably got spiders…"_ No, Mello is not afraid of spiders but he wasn't exactly fond of having them crawl on his when he was asleep. Especially since it was possible for then to crawl into your ears and lay eggs there.

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Hope you liked it! Don't you love spiders? Laying eggs in your ears... LOL! It's true. If you don't beleive me then look it up -_-. Anyways, please review you thought and suggestions! Reviews will make Matt realise Mello's in love with him faster!


	8. Chapter 8

I know, I'm sorry. I haven't updated in a while. But it's here now! The next chapter! It's short... Read and review! Glad your still sticking with it!

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Mello spent the night looking through the old dressers. Some just contained dust and mice droppings but a few held some clothes and the odd book.

He was currently sitting and reading a book about the history of poetry and it was mostly about Shakespeare.

"_How can a book be about the history of poetry if over half of it talks about Shakespeare's success and his life? Stupid authors." _Mello scowled but continued reading anyways until the small lamp beside him on the floor suddenly shut off.

Mello tensed up. The only light was now the small white line from the tiny window near the roof.

"_Is it really already morning?" _Mello had thought he'd only been there for a few hours and not the whole night. _"I should probably go down so Matt doesn't report me missing to Roger…" _He picked himself up and dusted his pants off. His hair was still damp and sticking to his neck. He felt utterly nasty.

Mello was about to take a step towards the exit but his foot caught on a crack in the floor and sent him tumbling.

"_I'm going to need another shower now!" _He glared at the offending crack before getting up again and heading towards the kitchens. There was always chocolate there and Mello _needed _it.

While he was walking numerous others glanced at him and shuffled out of the way. It was nothing out of the norm until he overheard a few girls.

"Are the fighting?"

"That would be great! Matt deserves so much better…"

"He was looking for him thought…"

"Maybe he wants to apologize?"

When Mello stopped in front of them it took a moment for them to realise that he was there.

"Umm… What?" The freckled red head asked without fear. The three girls behind her were trying to make themselves invisible.

"Oh! Nothing." Mello turned and stalked away. He hadn't done anything irrational or violent and that itself was out of the norm.

"_So he's looking for me?"_ Mello smiled at the thought. _"Maybe he does have feelings for me…"_ He still didn't feel up to seeing Matt again though. The image of Matt taking his clothes after giving Mello a shower was still fresh and would most likely cause Mello to do something that he'd regret.

He gorged himself when he got to the kitchen and filled his pockets with chocolate to take with him. He decided to head to the library. Even though they weren't supposed to eat in the library, Mello had convinced the librarian that without his chocolate he would start eating brown books (it had been one hell of a prank that Matt and him had pulled off years ago).

He chuckled at the memory of him attempting to eat the encyclopaedia because it "looked like chocolate".

The library wasn't busy at all. There were a few boys reading at a table and someone in the arm chair by the girl's novels.

He sighed and went over to the history section of the library. He pulled out the largest of the books and settled down in a navy blue armchair and started to read.

He stood up and stretched two hours into reading and noticed that the person in the other armchair was still there. He couldn't see who it was so he allowed curiosity to take over. Not many people sit for hours reading in this kind of light.

He made his way towards them. He had no intention of being social so he changed directions kept a safe distance away. The person sighed.

"_They sound familiar…" _He then saw the red hair and goggles on their head. _"Matt!" _He was _almost _happy enough to want to talk to him. _"Wasn't he trying to find me? But he was here before me! That bastard wasn't looking for me in the first place." _Mello returned to his chair grumbling and gnawed on his chocolate again. _"So much for thinking he might feel the same way…"_

The history book was not distracting him so he slammed it shut and didn't bother to put it away.

The only thing he really wanted to do at the moment was sleep even though it was only noon. He hadn't slept all night for fear of spiders crawling in his ears. He cast one more glare and Matt and started back to their room.

Matt yawned and stretched as he made himself a bowl of oatmeal. He knew he was forgetting something but he couldn't remember what it was. He knew a few seconds ago when he had just got into the kitchen but then he got distracted when he saw the box of cinnamon apple oatmeal.

No one else was in the kitchen and dinner would be in two hours. It wasn't like he went to dinner that often anyways. He would just bring a noodle cup of something up to his room later if he was hungry.

He could _probably _find some new games online that he hadn't played and beat yet.

Matt glanced around for something else to eat with his oatmeal. Yanking open all the cupboards and drawers didn't really help. It was all healthy food. He didn't feel like healthy food. He already had the oatmeal (granted it's full of sugar…). What else did he need? There was loads of chocolate but only the extremely brave would dare take it. Mello would throw a fit…

"_Mello!"_ Matt smacked his forehead. _"I was supposed to find him!" _He sighed as the microwave dinged, signalling that his oatmeal was done.

He quickly gobbled the still steaming oatmeal, burning his mouth in the process.

"_I wasted most of the day reading when I should have been looking for Mello or trying to find out who he's in love with." _

He wasn't sure where he should look so he decided to check their room again. If anything Mello might be eating chocolate, reading or maybe even redoing an assignment.

So Matt was quite surprised to find Mello fully dressed and passed out on top of the covers on his bed.

Matt smirked and rolled his eyes at him. Mello shifted causing his shirt to ride up and expose his toned stomach.

"Mello. You're going to get a cold sleeping like that." He reached over to pull his shirt back down but couldn't help first running his fingers over the exposed stomach. Mello flinched. _"Right. Mello's ticklish… Not that he will admit it." _Matt pulled the shirt back down and moved away. If Mello were to wake up with Matt touching him it would just be awkward.

Matt sat with his laptop on his bed and started his search for some games that he hadn't already beat.

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Short and not much happens in this chapter. Please review! Hopefully I will update soon. Reviews are love!


	9. Chapter 9

Yay! Finally an update! Sorry for the wait! Enjoy!

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"Ngh." Mello rolled over opened one eye. The room was dark and only the faint glow of a computer was seen. _"Well the power's back..." _The gears in Mello's head started to turn rapidly. _"Computer... person... Matt!" _He sat up suddenly and fell off the bed with a thud.

"Mello?" Matt tuned around at the sound and looked at Mello who was currently brushing off his pants.

"Hello bastard. What time is it?" Mello rubbed his eyes and yawned.

"It's only 9..."

"I did absolutely nothing productive today." He pouted and Matt laughed at his adorable (in his opinion) face.

"So hiding from me wasn't productive enough for you?" Matt smirked.

"I wasn't hiding! I was just... going for a walk."

"Really? Do tell, do tell!" Matt stood and flicked off his laptop.

"Tell you what?" Mello asked irritated and chucked his chocolate wrapper that had been in his pocket at him.

"Where you went, who you saw, what revolutionary ideas you had. I dunno, anything about your day!"

"Idiot." Mello gave a small smile and smacked Matt up side the head playfully.

"Really Mello, where were you? I was looking for y..."

"No you weren't!" Mello cut in angrily. _"He wasn't looking for me! He was reading a book! A fucking book! Is a book more important than me!" _

"Yes I was! I even asked around."

"I saw you! You were in the library reading a fruity book!" Mello glared at him, his eyes almost hiding his sadness. _Almost. _

"Fruity?" Matt's lips turned up into a smile and Mello's face turned red. "You're one to talk Mello." He touched the others red cheek lightly and Mello stiffened.

"Am I not allowed to use that word anymore." He turned his head away and looked at the ground. "I disgust you don't I..." It wasn't a question.

"What? No way, how could you ever disgust me! I lo..." Matt slapped his hand over his mouth, face turning red and quickly turned and sat back at his laptop. Mello blinked.

_"Did he just... No way..." _Mello felt his eyes start to water and he burst out laughing.

Matt raised an eyebrow but didn't turn back to look at Mello. _"He's laughing at me now. Of course he would never love me back..." _

"We are so fucking thick!" Mello sighed and rested his forehead against the back of Matt's head.

Matt remained silent in confusion and hit buttons rapidly on the laptop.

Mello let out a frustrated sigh and reached around Matt's neck towards the laptop. He stopped Matt's hands from moving and quickly opened a word document and typed three little words.

_I love you_

"You wouldn't have gotten it if I hadn't used technology would you..." He rested his head on the red head's shoulder and let his arms hang there.

Matt just stared at the screen and tried to comprehend why Mello would want to love him. There were other stronger men out in the world. Ones that weren't glued to a computer of some sort most of the time. Ones that could protect Mello without worry...

"Matt say something." Mello whispered worried.

Matt opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally speaking. "...ove you too..." Mello only heard half of it but he understood. He gave him a quick hug and left to take a shower and change into more suitable sleepwear for the night.

Matt sloughed in his chair and sighed loudly. _"This had better not be a dream... I wonder if he'd let me kiss him now..." _He stood and changed into his own pyjamas.

His laptop beeped and he shut it before climbing into his own bed and stared at the ceiling.

Mello came out looking and feeling refreshed and chucked his clothes in the hamper. He glanced at Matt and vaguely wondered if he would get in trouble for trying to sleep with Matt... Mello blushed lightly and went over to Matt's bed.

Matt looked at him, instantly noticing the blush on his friend/something or other's face. Mello quickly leaned forward, kissed his forehead and mumbled a good night before dashing into his own bed and pulling the covers up.

Matt smiled and concluded that it would be alright to kiss him... not that anything more would happen... maybe. He kicked off his own covers and noticed how Mello stilled completely as he padded over to the blond's bed and pealed the covers back slowly.

"What?" Mello asked trying to sound angry and failing miserably.

"You don't want me here? Ok." He let the blankets drop over Mello's face and stood there.

"I didn't say that idiot!" Mello's threw them off and blushed when he realised Matt hadn't moved.

"Scoot over then." Matt climbed into the bed beside Mello and hugged him close.

"h..hey!" Mello said but hugged him back none the less.

They both lay in silence, still unsure if everything that had happened was real or if they were just going to wake up in their own beds and find that the other really didn't love them back. Mello tried to keep his eyes open and stay awake but it proved difficult even though he had just slept a little ago. It was just so damned comfortable in Matt's arms.

Matt was having just the opposite problem. He was completely hyped up and really wanted to kiss Mello... we'll say kiss but Matt really wanted Mello.

Mello soon dozed off and Matt contented himself with rubbing circles on Mello's back and inhaling the sweet scent that was Mello.

Maybe tomorrow they could kiss officially...


	10. Chapter 10

Mello awoke to a brightly lit room and rubbed his eyes blearily. He could feel that Matt wasn't beside him anymore and he scanned the room. _"It couldn't have been a dream. No…" _But Mello knew that Matt hardly ever left the room before him. The past while had been strange, sure but Matt wouldn't act much different would he?

Mello decided not to dwell on it and let his head fall back on the pillow with a soft thump. His eyes closed and he ran a hand through his soft blond hair, letting it fall over his forehead and closed eyes. He groped blindly towards his bedside table and snatched his half eaten chocolate bar up. They were almost everywhere in the room.

Wherever Matt was, he was probably regretting what had happened. At least, that's the sort of thoughts that wormed their way into Mello's pretty little head. Matt grumped and pulled himself out of the bed, mentally preparing himself for the worst. Being half asleep he didn't notice that the bathroom was currently occupied so he wrenched open the door and began his routine of brushing his teeth.

It was then Matt heard Mello curse at the empty toothpaste tube. He poked his head around the bath curtain with wide eyes. Mello found another toothpaste tube and went to look at himself in the mirror, succeeding in catching Matt's stare.

Finally realising that Matt had not left and was actually in the shower and very naked he slowly and awkwardly moved back out of the bathroom, a blush adorning his features. Matt smirked and went back to his shower feeling quite smug. Mello had blushed just for him.

Matt found Mello in the common room with a bowl of chocolate cereal in his hands. He was sitting on the couch facing away from the window. The snow still stuck to the ground but it was obvious to anyone that it was starting to melt. Kids ran in and out of the door trading their soaked clothes for drier ones.

Mello kept his eyes fixed on his cereal and refused to look up, even though Matt knew he'd noticed him walk in. He took a seat next to Mello and practically flopped himself down.

"Hey." Matt spoke quietly but not without emotion.

"Hey." Mello replied just as quiet and shoveled more cereal into his mouth.

Matt, feeling that the situation was far too normal for anyone, especially when they weren't normal, allowed himself to fall over. His head landed on Mello's lap softly, nearly missing the bowl Mello held. Mello had to juggle his bowl to keep it from falling and looked pissed as he was shocked.

"If I'd dropped that I would have killed you." Mello said dead serious and whacked Matt on the nose with his spoon.

"No you wouldn't." Matt pulled out his DS and flicked it on. Mello huffed angrily.

"That thing again?" He murmured.

Matt ignored him and continued to tap buttons. Mello finished his cereal but didn't want to move to put his bowl away. It wasn't everyday this happened.

"Look Mello." Matt turned his DS so Mello could see. "I made you!"

"Why am 'I' wearing a pink dress?" His eye twitched and he felt the urge to throw the DS and push Matt off.

"Because it's cute!" Matt swooned in fake emotion. Mello had to suppress a laugh which left his face twitching comically. "But seriously it's cause you make such adorable faces when I tease you." And with that Mello really did shove Matt off with a reddened face once again.

"Oh fuck off would you." Mello stalked off to put away his bowl leaving a laughing Matt to pick himself off the floor.

Matt followed obediently, somewhat unsure of what to do now. Would they remain the same? There hadn't really been any words exchanged to describe their current standing and relationship.

Mello had already put his bowl and spoon in the sink and gotten out a chocolate bar by the time Matt caught up. Mello was still avoiding direct eye contact.

"So, what now? Want to tackle Near. We could always shove him in the snow again." Matt offered, earning a glare in his general direction.

"That went so fucking well last time didn't it. We may be on slightly better terms, and I mean slightly, but I refuse to help the little twat out again." Matt decided against pointing out that they hadn't exactly helped Near, they'd left him in worse shape.

"Any suggestions then?" Matt could think of a few on his own but decided against _those _until he knew where they stood.

"Chocolate." Mello said simply and took a particularly large bite out of the bar he was currently holding. "and 'sides, there aren't any classes today. Might as well study or something."

"Or something." Matt quoted. He didn't feel like studying unless it involved studying a certain someone.

Mello shrugged and Matt finally noticed that Mello was acting more subdued than normal. This needed to change; he refused to allow their friendship to fade through Mello's change in disposition.

He'd take the chance. He do it straight out, without hesitation. No second thoughts. If Mello was going to force a change then so was Matt and hopefully his change would be more pleasant than a mellowed out Mello.

"Hey Mello, I've got an idea." Matt wrung his hands; luckily Mello had become strangely interested in the label of his chocolate bar.

"A rare occasion for you." Mello said absent mindedly.

"Haha. Funny, but I seriously do."

"Then spit it out would you." Mello placed one hand on his hip and finally faced Matt, staring him full in the eyes as if he knew what Matt wanted.

"No, I won't. You don't think I'm smart enough to come up with my own ideas." Matt retorted.

"I never said that you fucker!" Mello swatted at him which Matt blocked easily.

"You were thinking it." Matt was pleased with the return of Mello's spirit.

"How do you know what I was thinking? You hardly know what _you're_ thinking!" Mello snapped back.

"If you want to know my brilliant idea you have to tell me I'm smarter than you."

"No." Mello said firmly. It was not an option.

"Then tell me I'm pretty." Matt struck a ridiculous pose, imitation some poster girl causing Mello to wince in embarrassment.

"You're so pretty you shit rainbows. Now tell me." Mello rolled his eyes at Matt's fake jump for joy.

"Fine, since you think I'm so pretty." Matt took a step forward and Mello felt small again. "It's not so much an idea as a question."

"And that is." Mello continued to switch between looking at Matt and the amazingly interesting piece of fuzz on his shoulder.

"I'd like to know if you'd let me kiss you."

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**Ah, I've revived the story. Don't know how long it'll last but I hope to finish it! Thanks for reading!**


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